When Comparisons Go Bad

Scrolling through social media, I was getting jealous, almost angry! Angry at myself, like I had failed at something. It was all because I was comparing myself to somebody else! And this other person is actually a friend of mine, somebody that I’ve considered to be both a peer and a role model. But I was watching them accomplish some really great things, and I was jealous and angry.

But when I sat in those really crappy feelings and got uncomfortable and started asking myself, like, why am I feeling this way? What is going on? I realized that…

The things they were accomplishing that I was comparing myself to, that I was getting jealous of – those things weren’t even important to me!

They had a set of goals and they were achieving them, and those goals weren’t even on my own radar. So why was I bothering to compare myself against their success, their success in achieving something that doesn’t even matter to me, at least not in this point of my life? I am going down this path to accomplish these goals, and they’re going in a completely different direction toward a different set of goals. I needed to stop comparing myself, it was totally irrelevant; it didn’t even make sense.  

Now, there are people who are going down the same path toward the same goals, and are farther along than I am. And I do compare myself to them, but I do it in a healthy way. In a way that triggers some inspiration for me, in a way that I can see, “Hey, what steps have they been taking? How did they get there, and can I learn from those?” I use that comparison in a very healthy and productive way. If we’re stuck in the comparison and it’s driving negative emotions, you are completely paralyzing yourself. You are not going to go anywhere.  

So I challenge you, if you’re finding yourself comparing against somebody else, number one, what is it you’re comparing, and do those things actually, really matter to you? Are they at the core of your values, the things that you really are trying to achieve in life? And if they’re not, then just cut it off! Just say, that’s the end. But if you are comparing against the place you want to go, use it in a healthy way; use it to energize you, to open your eyes to new possibilities and new ways of doing things.  

So stop the comparison game when it’s irrelevant, and then use it in a healthy way to move forward. Comment below, I’d love to know where are you catching yourself in comparison right now?

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