When You Think You Don’t Have the Answer

For quite a few days, I’d been spiraling and circling in my own head, having a lot of self-doubt, a lot of questions, anxiety, frustration. It all came to a head on a Thursday evening. My kids, Ethan and Reese, were upstairs, and Matt and I were sitting on the couch together. We’d been chatting, having a nice evening, and then all of a sudden it just started to come out.

I started to share everything that I was feeling, all of the frustrations. And it was all centered on my business, on the professional aspect of my life; nothing to do personally, nothing that Matt could actually solve for me, but I had to let it all out. It had been swirling in my head for too long, and it finally got dumped all out to Matt.

As we talked and Matt asked questions and he offered some advice, I found that I just kept talking; I kept saying more and more, more than I had even thought of over those several days.

As he kept asking questions and as he kept talking, I kept talking, until finally the sentence came out of my own mouth that answered what had been going on – I had the answer all along.

And even though we hear, “Hey, don’t worry, you don’t need to have all the answers,” or, “Seek out other people,” and I totally agree with that, I do believe that there are more times than not that you have the answer – that you actually have the answer to more of the challenges that you face than you realize you do, but those answers just haven’t come out.

I have personally found that through conversation, where the person on the other end is asking questions and is genuinely interested, where I can continue to talk and let the next layer come out, and the next layer and so on. Or journaling, where I’m challenging myself and asking, “Why? Okay, this. Well, why? Okay, this,” and continue to peel back. That is when I discover most of the time, I actually have the answer.

If you have been stuck with something or you’re just really frustrated, I’m not offering for you to sit and continue spiraling; I’m offering that probably, most likely, you have the answer inside of you.

You just need to find a way to get it out, to have it brought to the surface, brought to light. And whether that’s through journaling for you, or having somebody engage in an open dialogue where they’re asking questions – whatever it is, I believe that you most likely already have the answer!

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